Dormant Divergence

It's days like today that I'm thankful for stuff. All stuff, even this stupid job stuff.
Obviously it takes a horrendous display to make me thankful - so here you have it - someone at my work got fired today. Now the mind-blowing part was that it wasn't me. Out of 6 employees our boss chose someone else and while I'm grateful, I'm also wondering whether he had crack on his cornflakes for breakfast. In all seriousness, I'm lazy, unmotivated, quite clearly annoyed at being here, have no background experience or interest in whatever it is that they do here and he chose to keep me.
The mind freaking boggles.

Careless Distortion

I want to go back to Cuba, where the people in the street make music, dance, smile, laugh and tell you that they love you. Where even the plainest of girls can feel beautiful, where rhythm is everything and nothing is a problem. 



I want to dance all night, drink rum and smoke cigars - I want to see the sun rise over the ocean.

I need another holiday, but what shall it be Thailand, India or somewhere else entirely?



Apathetic Difference

I was going to point out that I am in a happier mood today as it is Thursday, or Friday Eve, as it is lovingly know at our office.  Now we all know that Wednesday is the Thursday of Friday. So I feel like it might be time to have a drink.

As you (a very loose term to describe whomever might come across this nonsense) are no doubt aware, this is my first ever blog and there is no theme, no point, it's just a way to pass the hours at work. I'm not reviewing make-up, shoes or World Vision children, although who knows I may. In essence I'm just sharing that I have nothing to give you. Advice, sense, knowledge..I have none.

Unrelated note: How is 'difference' a synonym for 'wanderings' - if you can explain that you are better than my fucking thesaurus. 

Abstracted Deviations

I don't think that it is a good sign that I am disappointed, confused and sad that I got the date for my wisdom teeth extraction wrong. I thought I would be in a world of hurt this Friday, but alas, I am stuck here at work, dreaming of teeth being ripped from my jaw.. So on a level of 1 to Hate, how much does this mean I loathe my workplace?

It's made me think of all the other horrible things I would prefer to being here at work, would I rather amputate my arm than be here? Probably not. Would I rather have vinegar poured into my eyes? Possibly.

So here is the top five things I would rather do than be at work:

1) Have a dinner date with a jockey, who is wearing silks
2) Spend the night in jail, with a lady who can benchpress me
3) Visit a walk through aviary, the kind where people lose eyes 
4) Drink off milk by the litre
5) Have all four wisdom teeth ripped from my head

Absent Departure

So I'm at work at the moment, wasting my time and brain cells in a soul destroying job at a very nice, very well presented financial planning office. Why am I here? Not sure, I think the money and lack of commitment may have initially lured me. Plus it's always good to learn what your price is.

So obviously my mind turns to what I could possibly do to pass the interminable hours here, spent being bored out of my wits. I mean obviously I could be working...in fact I'm pretty sure that's what I'm paid to do. But screw that option. I have a better plan, a blog. A ranty, bitchy, self-indulgent hapless little blog.

So there you have it kids, let the games begin.

In fact, let me begin with this. Jockeys are scary. Surely it's not just me who thinks this? Although, a short foray onto google vaguely confirms that I'm the only person in the world who believes so, surpirsingly 'jockey phobia' and 'jockey murder death squad' - return almost no relevant search results. I think this is part of their plan, appear benign, wear silk pyjamas and talk in an unnaturally high voice.. then BAM. That's right. Don't say you weren't warned.